Worse Than Death (ONESHOT)
by Delaedyn
Summary: SPOILERS! SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER! Takes place AFTER ENDGAME! You've been warned! Okay, now that that's out of the way... This is a oneshot Loki fanfic that I had to get off of my chest. Loki ends up in Hel and finds a certain family member to connect with... and a possible way out.


Author's Note: Hello readers! I just watched Endgame recently, and this has been floating around in my head ever since. So, if you HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET then please don't read this as it definitely contains spoilers! As for those who decide to move forward and read this, I really hope you enjoy this! It is a oneshot fanfic… I don't plan to write any more to this. But let me know what you think, maybe I'll change my mind once I think on the plot for a bit.

**Worse Than Death (ONESHOT)**

Loki opened his eyes to blackness, his hands immediately going to his throat. Where was he? Just a moment before, Thanos…

An involuntary shudder coursed through Loki's body as the memory passed through his consciousness. Thanos had crushed his throat. He should be dead.

He waited for his eyes to adjust to the blackness, but nothing came of it. The darkness was absolute, enveloping him, suffocating him. He reached out and his hands found cold, wet stone reaching up, up, up. The air began to take on a faint, musty smell. He willed his feet to move, one step after the other, as he followed along the stone wall, the darkness heavy on his shoulders. Where was he?

He walked for what felt like ages. Every now and then he thought he heard a sound. A scuttle here, a soft moan there. But he could see nothing, and he found nothing. He continued walking. Was there an end to this? Or would it go on forever? Was he to walk for all of eternity? Was he in Hel?

As he walked, his mind mulled over what had happened. Thanos had arrived, a power stone already in his possession, and in that moment hope had died in Loki's heart. He knew Thanos, and he knew the black order, more than he'd like to. He knew his cruelty and his strength. He knew that he would stop at nothing, and neither Loki nor Thor would be strong enough to fight him. He was a titan, a titan on a mission of destruction, "burdened with glorious purpose" to cleanse the universe. A sour taste sat in Loki's mouth. The mind stone's affects and Thanos's lecturing still crept into his mind, like a poison that wouldn't leave.

It left Loki with very few options. He had held the tesseract in his hands, he could have left any moment. But Thanos had his brother. His brother who had fought with him, saved him, and never gave up hope in the kind of man he could become. His brother, the last of his family. The last of his people. He couldn't – he _wouldn't_ – abandon him.

And then the Hulk showed up, and Loki had dropped it. '_Fool!' _he cursed himself. Had he held onto it, he could have whisked him and his brother away before Thanos had time to react. But Ebony Maw had already gotten his hands on the tesseract. Even so, Loki tried to convince Thor to try to take the tesseract back, but Thor had refused to leave without saving Hulk and Heimdall, and his big oaf of a brother tried to take on Thanos himself. Loki cursed his brother's stupidity and his goodness; his all-or-nothing attitude would get them all killed.

The stupidity got worse. Heimdall, in his last moment, saved the Hulk, sending him away in the Bifrost. A decision that completely confused Loki. If he had the ability to save anyone, should he have not saved his brother?

He would never know the answer. Heimdall was killed immediately after, only fueling Thor's rage. Loki had watched from a distance as he could anticipate how the event would play out. Thanos would either kill Thor or take him prisoner in an attempt to make him a part of the Children of Thanos. He had done the same to Loki when he had found him.

As for Loki, he knew that worse than death awaited him if Thanos took him. He had lost the scepter and the tesseract when he was on Earth, and he had defied Thanos's will once the scepter's influence over him was broken. Thanos did not take failure lightly and took betrayal even less so.

So, Loki did what he could. An attempt on the mad titan's life. Either he would succeed, or he would fail. And if he failed, then he would die and escape Thanos's clutches forever. As for his brother, Heimdall was gone, Thanos's flying city of a ship was right outside their broken walls. There was no escape, there was no rescue. And he trusted in his brother's pride that he would not let himself be taken prisoner. They would die together, and together they would meet in death, in Valhalla. "The sun will shine on us again, my brother." He had said. He had believed it.

There were worse things than death.

Now, of course, Loki wondered if that was true. He was sure that he had been walking for ages, and yet nothing had changed. He felt like he was going crazy. Panic started to rise in him but he forced it down. This wasn't the worst thing he had endured in his lifetime, and letting his fear take him wouldn't help.

Just as he was about to give up and slump against the cold hard walls, the slightest hint of light showed ahead of him. The pitch blackness began to have form, to have shape. Grey shapes stood out in relief against black rocks. Some of them moved. He reached for his knives, but nothing happened. They were gone. He realized then, that he had nothing. No weapons, and even his cape and leather armor were gone. He stood in only his softly woven shirt and pants. He was reduced to nothing, vulnerable.

The light continued to brighten, slowly, gradually, until he began to see color. Green. Everything was cast in a hue of green. He walked cautiously like a cat, one foot softly in front of the other, a heavy pit in his stomach.

A shape moved next to him, caught in his peripheral vision, and he nearly jumped out of his boots. A strangled cry came from the hunched mound next to him, and he realized it was a man. A man in rags, cowering from him against the rocks. When Loki didn't make a move towards him, the man scuttled away like a rat, back the way Loki had come, disappearing into the darkness behind him.

The pit in Loki's stomach became deeper, heavier. He had a feeling he knew where he was.

He continued to follow the dim green light, as he saw more and more people cowering, hiding, or simply sitting listless or laying prone, the life in their eyes gone. Empty shells of who they once were, reduced to basic animalistic instincts, basic fear.

He continued his path, his facial expression firm, his jaw set tight to keep his emotions in check. If he didn't show his fear, then the fear couldn't overtake him.

Finally, as he turned a corner, the hall he was following opened into a vast cavern, endless. The walls reached up high above him, disappearing into blackness. Was there a ceiling? He couldn't tell. It was out of his view.

The wide expanse spread out before him, infinitely, endlessly. People sat huddled in small groups or alone, some talking in hushed whispers, some crying. Somewhere in the distance he heard screaming.

In the center of it all sat what looked to be a palace carved out of obsidian, the green light emanating from its glassless arched windows, reflecting off of the shining black rock. It was immense and terrifying in its structure, all sharp angles and jagged points, and the ground seemed to hum and rumble like a living, breathing thing, a creature out of nightmares.

Hel. He was in Hel. Niflheim, to be exact. So, he had died. And this was where he was meant to spend eternity. He pursed his lips together in annoyance. True, he hadn't led the purest life, but Hel? Really? He had at least hoped his attempt to save Asgard, twice, was enough grant him entry into Valhalla. He had hoped he would finally see his mother, and maybe even his father. He had assumed he would see Thor again, that they would enter Valhalla together.

But no. Here he was, with the fallen, the dishonored, and the mediocre. He still wasn't considered a hero. His lips curled up in a snarl. Even in death he was denied what he was owed.

His eyes once again took in the beastly palace before him. If he was in Hel, then… did that mean his sister was here? What exactly happened to her after her battle with Surtur? He had thought she had died, but if she did then wouldn't she end up back here in Hel?

He shrugged his shoulders, and continued walking, his feet taking him towards the black palace. Only one way to find out. He had eternity here, after all.

He walked through the palace, its green lights dim and flickering. There was hardly a soul around in this massive space. Tall columns rose up out of the floor to hold arched ceilings. It was quiet. Desolate. Like a place that was a ghost of its former self. It might have felt grand and powerful at one point. Now it felt empty.

He walked forward, his boots echoing loudly on the obsidian floor. Ahead of him was a dais, and on that dais was a throne. In that throne sat Hela.

She no longer held her former glory. Her hair hung in tangled, unkempt strands. Her body looked frail, weak. She wore her black and green outfit of before, but her body was wrapped in a black cape as if to fight off the cold. Her eyes looked hollow with dark circles under them and her face was thin, the skin taut around her bones.

She scarcely looked up at him as he entered. "I knew you would come, brother." She said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. If it weren't for the echoing of the walls, he might not have heard it.

"Hela." Loki replied. "Is this your great domain of the dead? No wonder you wanted to conquer Asgard."

Hela uncurled herself from her throne and stood slowly. "It was not always so dreary. It used to be grand, my light filling every corridor with power. The dead worshipped me, groveled at my feet. The screams of the villainous used to echo in these chambers like sweet music."

"Sounds lovely." Loki replied sarcastically.

"It was." She replied, as she took careful slow steps down from her dais. She laid a delicate hand against a large column, as if stroking a pet lovingly. "I was one with this place, it was my lifeblood. I was absolute here."

"What happened?"

Hela pinned him with an icy gaze. "You happened. You and Thor. Unleashing Surtur onto Asgard was a bold move. I didn't expect it. When Asgard fell, so did I, with all of my power lost into the universe. I found myself here… and it's never been the same since." She stared at the column forlornly and stepped away. "Come, brother. Let us talk."

Hela escorted him out of the throne room, through a series of dreary hallways and stairwells until finally entering into a solar, a private room with lounging chairs and a dull fireplace that gave no heat with its green flames. It was higher up in the keep, and Loki stared out of the window at the emptiness that spread out before him. There was never to be any sunlight here, nor starlight. Just darkness and death encased in rock. It was a giant, living tomb built to held an infinite number of souls.

Despite all the seating in the room, he refused to sit. His anxiousness kept him firmly on his feet, ready to run as soon as she tried anything. Hela moved slowly, tiredly, pouring a cup of liquid for the both of them into black crystalline goblets. She handed one to Loki and he took it but did not drink.

She observed his behavior. "I certainly can't kill you here, now can I?" she smirked.

Loki gave her a slight grin. "There are worse things than death."

"A fair statement." Hela agreed with a nod. She sat herself down into a dusty cushioned chair. "However, I have no plans to torture you."

"Why not?" Loki asked. "Not that I'm begging you to of course, but we didn't exactly end our last encounter on good terms." He sat next to her in a matching chair.

"To be quite honest, I'm too tired. Too weak." She said softly. "I hold this place in my keeping barely as it is. But Hel needs a ruler, and no matter how weak I am, my duties here are bound into my soul."

"So… if you _were_ strong enough, this would be a different conversation."

She gave him a piercing stare as she took a sip from her goblet. "Very different."

Loki leaned back uncomfortably, as if the action could put a safe distance between them. It didn't.

"How did you know I was coming?" he replied.

"I know all beings that are soon to enter my domain." She replied. She set her goblet down and flicked her thin wrist in the air. A glowing, shimmering scale floated in front of her, small enough to fit in her hand. It was intangible, made of glowing mist that seemed to curl and spin and reform into its shape once again. On the bottom of the scale, Loki's name was written on it. He stared at it with keen interest.

"What is that?" he asked.

"The balance of your life." Hel replied. "There are two places the dead go when their time comes. Valhalla and here. Where you end up will depend on this. Too many evil deeds, too many selfish, cowardly acts and the scale tips towards Hel. But perform enough heroics, be selfless, and the scale tips towards Valhalla."

"How on Earth then did my scale tip me here into Hel?" Loki said crossly. "Sure, I had tried to kill off the frost giants. Then I had tried to conquer Earth. But the first was an attempt to save Asgard from an impending threat without losing half of Asgard in battle, the other I was under the influence of Thanos. Even then, the body count should be far outweighed by those saved against the dark elves and… well, you."

Hela chuckled at him. "You're not the first to question the validity of his life. But the scales are unquestionable. Were your sacrifices truly intended for pure means? When you fought with Thor against Malekith, did you not have every intention of using the opportunity to usurp Odin?"

"Well, to be fair, I hadn't expected to live." Loki replied. "But I did, and I figured why miss an opportunity."

"I am not here to judge you." Hela replied. "Life is short, even for us, within the grand scheme of things. I've always found the lines between good and evil to be arbitrary… if an individual wants to use their life to gain power, that is their right to do so. Justice and fairness are fabrications developed by individuals trying to make sense of a chaotic universe. However," she whisked away the scale, its mist fading into nothing. "I was not the one who made the rules. Our father's ancestors built this place and Valhalla, and they are the ones who decide who goes where."

Loki eyed her carefully, taking in her calmness and her resignation. She was nothing of the angry, power-hungry sister he had fought before. How could there be such a change in her?

"And what of my efforts against you?" Loki replied. "I had no inclination to take over Asgard when I arrived to save its people. Surely that should have counted for something."

"As a matter of fact, it did." She replied. "However, your unwillingness to fight next to Thor until the very end tipped the scale."

Loki stood from his chair in anger. "What do you mean? I did everything I could to save that fool."

Hela didn't budge from her seat and took a careful sip from her goblet. "Did you fight bravely in battle to the bitter end, side by side together?"

Loki froze. "Well… I mean, we were about to die regardless…"

"Or did you rush in like a fool?"

"Well, I-" Loki stammered.

"You can not hide the truth from me, trickster." A quirk of a smile played at her lips.

"Perhaps I did rush it, but the ending was going to be the same regardless."

"Yes, so you thought. You think you know so much you can predict the future. But your intelligence does have limits."

"What do you mean? Speak plainly." Loki was losing his patience.

"Thor still lives. You, however, rushed to your death unnecessarily. Why?" Hela stared at him, pinning him with her eyes.

"… My brother is alive?"

"Our brother." She corrected. "And yes, he's alive. But you still have yet to answer my question. Why did you rush to your death?"

"You don't know? And here I thought you knew everything." Loki snarked.

Hela didn't take his bait, however, and waited patiently. Loki gave up avoiding the question and sat slowly in his seat.

"I was afraid." He said quietly. "We were going to lose, and I knew it. Thor didn't… he was always the optimistic fool. But I knew Thanos. I knew what he was going to do to me. There are things worse than death." He repeated. A realization hit him in that moment, as well. He had rushed to his death because he couldn't bear to watch his brother killed before him. He wondered how Thor handled _his_ death.

"Ah. So, you met your end to escape your fear. You gave up hope. Your death wasn't brave at all." She replied.

"How dare you." Loki seethed. "You talking to me as if you understand a thing about honor or sacrifice."

Hela stood in anger, the air around her crackling. "Do not presume to know me, brother. You know nothing about my _sacrifice._" The air cleared and her shoulders slumped as if the surge of power was too much for her. She turned from him and went to stand in front of the fireplace, staring into its green depths.

"I was not always like this." She said softly. "I was Odin's daughter, his first born. I was a child once, and he… he was everything to me. He taught me everything I knew. How to fight, how to rule… he prided himself on his conquests, claimed the nine realms as his birthright. I believed him and followed him to the ends of the Great Tree's branches."

"Sounds familiar." Loki replied, just as softly.

Hela gave a small smile and continued her story. "I had the love of both of my parents. My mother taught me her magic and my father taught me to fight. But it wasn't enough. Odin always wanted more of me, pushed me to be more. More powerful, more ruthless. He said a king had to be unyielding, to stand by his decisions. So, I did. He gave me his power, tying it into my own. We were practically one, he and I. I was his sword. I knew nothing else. When I fought his battles, his strength pumped through my veins and I felt whole again. It filled me, like nothing else did. I hungered for it.

"And then the fighting stopped. Suddenly the battles were over, and I was left with nothing. I had had only one purpose for thousands of years, and it was stripped from me. Odin no longer gave me his power, and I hungered for it, to fill that emptiness. He had always talked about being a firm, unforgiving king… I had never expected him to be that way with me. But suddenly I was cut off, and my purpose was lost. My mother turned her back on me, said I was too blood thirsty, but it was Odin who made me that way. Now that Odin had peace, there was no place for me in Asgard or in his heart.

"He condemned me. He condemned me to suffer, and he hid me away in this place, to be forgotten. He erased the memory of me from Asgard, he erased me from his heart. I think Frigga might have been pregnant with Thor, when it finally happened. He had his new heir, after all. I was useless to him, a blemish from his past, his greatest mistake.

"I have been trapped here for a long time. Such a long time… alone with my anger, and the pain. I still hunger for it, you know. I was so glad when he had died. I was freed of my prison, and the Odinforce flowed through me again. I wanted nothing more than to relish in that feeling."

Loki was silent for a long time.

Finally, he spoke. "It corrupted you." He realized. "Odin's power corrupted you and made you what you were."

Hela turned and looked at him. "I wanted nothing else. It was better than food, better than sleep. Better than sex."

"He knew?" Loki asked.

"Only after. He had only wanted to make me strong." Hela replied. "But he didn't understand what he had done or how deep the hunger had rooted in me until the fighting had stopped. In all those years, he had never bothered to look at his daughter. To truly see. He was so focused on his next conquest…"

"He was ashamed." Loki said.

"He _made_ me." Hela spat.

"He wasn't ashamed of you." Loki replied. "He was ashamed of what you represented. His failure. He was ashamed of himself for failing you." In that moment, he realized his words applied to him as well.

Hela straightened her back. "You defend him? After all he did to you?"

"My love for Odin is… complicated." Loki replied. "But one thing I can say about him is that he was never good at admitting his failings. Too prideful."

"A trait that runs in our family, I'm sure." Hela said.

"Agreed." Loki nodded. "Although, to be fair, I'm not _technically_ part of your family. But the effect has been the same.

"You weren't the only one cast out of the family for failing to meet his expectations. Apparently being tortured and having my mind influenced by an infinity stone after having all of my childhood dreams dashed to oblivion was no excuse for trying to conquer Midgard. Which, by the way, was another attempt on my part to save at least some of Father's domain, and the only domain that Thor cared about. I knew of Thanos's plans early on. Our arrangement was to keep Earth protected as long as it was under my rule. But something happened when I took the scepter… everything went wrong…" he paused for a moment, distracted by memories. Finally, he continued. "…But such facts mattered little for the Allfather."

Loki quietly kept his remaining thoughts to himself. In all truth, it was most likely his own behavior and defiance towards Odin that added to Odin's lack of receptiveness to Loki's words. But his rage and hurt was still fresh in him back then. He wouldn't have been able to find the right words if he tried. And Odin did little to understand him, too blinded by his anger at Loki's betrayal.

"Odin did quite the number on both of us, didn't he?" Hela said with a sigh.

"And to think… he gets to go to Valhalla. What a rigged system." Loki grumbled.

They sat in silence for a moment, until a thought occurred in Loki's head. "You said you can see the scales for everyone. Can you see them for Thor?"

Hela stared at him quietly, assessing him, before finally bringing forth Thor's scale. Loki walked towards her to stand next to her at the fireplace and stared at the scale before him. It tipped precariously on the median, and a cold chill went through Loki's body.

"What is wrong with it?" he asked. "Surely this can't be right."

"A lot has happened since your death, brother." Hela said solemnly, her eyes glowing green and vacant as if she were looking somewhere else. "Our dear brother has lost his way and turned his back on his destiny."

"What do you mean?" Loki asked, his brow furrowed.

"He has abandoned his people. He mourns his losses, including you. He carries the weight of his failures." Hela said quietly.

"He's abandoned his people? He would never." Loki replied vehemently.

"The remaining Asgardians are now in the Valkyrie's hands. As for your brother, he struggles to find his place in the universe."

"But he is a good person." Loki said, his voice almost begging.

"He denies his destiny." Hela replied. "Remember, I don't make the rules."

"So, he might not make it to Valhalla?" Loki asked incredulously. If anyone should deserve to go to Valhalla, it was Thor.

"His fate is still undecided. His place of endless rest will depend upon which path he chooses to walk."

Loki stared at the scale as it vanished from Hela's hands.

"I must go to him." Loki said finally.

"It is impossible." Hela replied. "Death is permanent, even for you, trickster."

"There has to be a way." Loki said desperately.

"There isn't. Do you think you're the first to try to escape this place? Take any tunnel you wish, and you will go on forever, walking in endless darkness. This place is infinite. None may leave it."

"You left it." Loki replied.

"When I had the Odinforce in me, yes. But that is gone now, destroyed with Asgard. Only a snippet of it remains, within Thor. He is the last."

Loki looked around the room and outside the windows. "The green glow. Is that you? Is that your power?"

Hela lifted her chin slightly, staring down at him suspiciously. "Yes. But it is the last of my power. If I tried to use it to leave this place, I would cease to exist, and all souls stuck here, including yours, would be trapped in eternal darkness. True darkness. Trust me when I say you do not want that."

Loki's shoulders slumped in defeat, and he leaned a hand against the mantel, staring into the flames. "If only I had an infinity stone." He said quietly.

Hela gave a small smile. "We are not so much different, you and I. I appreciate your disregard for the rules. An infinity stone might hold enough power to break you free if you so desired, but even that would be a huge risk, depending on which stone is used."

"I had held two of them at one point, you know." Loki said. "The scepter held the mind stone. I didn't know it at the time, of course. But I felt its affect on me when I began using it. The feeling never really quite left…" he touched his temple subconsciously. "And I held the space stone, too. The tesseract. So many missed opportunities…"

Hela's posture straightened and she stared at him cautiously. "You still feel the mind stone?" she asked.

"Well, not like before, of course. But the memory of it is there, like a whisper."

Without asking, Hela grabbed Loki's face in her hands, and in that moment the world seemed the spin under his feet. A pulse of power throbbed through him, and Hela jumped back as if she were shocked by the touch.

"It's not possible." She gasped.

"What? What do you mean?" Loki demanded.

"How many infinity stones have you touched?" she asked.

Loki paused for a moment and thought. "Two."

"Only two?" she asked.

Loki thought again. There was the tesseract, the scepter, and… and the aether. Jane Foster had possessed the aether, but she was its vessel much how the cube was the vessel for the space stone. "No." he realized. "Three. The aether was the third."

"Hm." She thought to herself.

"What is this about?" Loki asked.

"The infinity stones are the most powerful items in the universe. So powerful that they affect everything around them, simply by their presence. Even more so, if touched. Their power leaks into everything, leaving their imprint on whatever touches them. A trace amount of power, permeating into the fabric of life. You've held three of them, and they've imprinted themselves on your soul like a footprint on sand. You have more trace power in you than most."

"So, what does that mean for me?" he asked.

She stared at him, as she nibbled her lip in thought. "It might be possible…" she murmured. "Or, it might not be enough."

"Speak plainly!" Loki nearly shouted. "I have no time for your riddles! Either you can help me or you can't!"

"You managed to touch the three stones that might be able to free you from death. The space stone can change your place. The reality stone can give you form. The mind stone can transfer your consciousness. After all, what is a soul but our minds without body? The soulstone would have been better, but this might be enough." Hela explained. She walked briskly away from the fireplace. "Come, Loki, God of Mischief."

Loki obeyed, quick on her heels.

"You will help me then?" he asked, hopeful.

She eyed him sideways. "I will try."

She led him to a new set of stairs, leading high into the keep, winding up and up, with windows following the stairs along the curve of the wall. Higher and higher they went, until they finally entered a wide, opening at the top of the tower, out onto the rooftop. It was a sheer drop on all sides, black obsidian sleek with moisture. What would happen to him if he fell? Would he simply get back up and walk away? Would he feel anything? He didn't want to find out.

He stared at his estranged sister. "Why are you helping me?"

She stared at him for a moment. "I am tired. So very tired. And I don't want to have to spend eternity with both of you." She smirked at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked warily.

"This will be my last act. With the remainder of my power combined to yours, I will rewrite the rules of Hel, and free you from this place to save your brother."

"But you will die. Completely." Loki said. "You will cease to exist."

"Yes. I will." She replied simply. "My life has been a brutal one. Even now, I hunger for a power I cannot possess. I waste away here in this place, with nothing but bad memories and loneliness. Trust me brother when I say I understand. There _are_ things worse than death. Death, true death, will be a release for me. I will be freed."

"Why didn't you simply try to blink yourself out of Hel sooner then?" Loki asked. "Why do you need me for this?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're not going to take my residual power and use them to free yourself, are you?"

Hela smiled at him. "If I were stronger, I might. But the simple weaving of our powers alone will probably kill me. Besides, even if I did leave, I'd have nowhere to go and no strength left to do anything more than what I'm doing now. And that hunger will always be there."

Loki eyed her suspiciously but didn't speak. He always was one to play with a bit of risk. Either she was lying, and he would cease to exist entirely while she walked free, or the other way around. But he couldn't leave his brother alone any longer.

"There is one caveat." She said, as she ran her hands back over her tangled hair, her crown of sharp antlers spreading out above her head. "Hel must always have a ruler. Without a ruler of Hel, then Hel itself will be plunged into endless darkness. If it is left unruled long enough, then Hel itself will break, and the souls of the dead will be freed."

"Why do I not like where this is going?" Loki asked.

"Everything comes with a price." Hela said. "You wanted to be a king, did you not? Once I am gone, my life force will be yours, and so will my titles and responsibilities. You will be king of Hel, Loki. With my power combined with yours, you'll be able to leave Hel freely, but you must always return to rule it. If you do not, then you will fall when Hel falls, and the dead shall overrun all of Yggdrasil."

Loki sighed and shook his head. "The things I do for that oaf of a brother. Very well, sister."

Hela eyed him for a moment, to make sure he was true to his words, then raised her hands to the sky.

"Wait." Loki shouted. She stared at him but didn't lower her arms. "Thank you… sister." He replied.

She stared at him in silence, and then tilted her head back, staring into the abyss above. The green glow around her grew as she drew in the remainder of her power, its light fading from the castle below her as she removed her strength from Hel and pulled it into herself. Blackness fell across the domain, and she stood at the center of it, a glowing beacon in endless night. She reached out to Loki with a long hand, and he took it in his own. As soon as their skin touched, he felt the power start to leave him, tearing his flesh apart, deconstructing his mind, particle by particle, thought by thought. He lost all senses, all his awareness. Then, he was being knitted back together, new power flowing through him, and a heavy weight on his spirit, a burden he would have to bear for eternity. Every aspect of his being was being rewritten. He cried out in agony.

Thor sat in his room, staring at himself in the mirror, struggling to recognize the man he saw. He hardly knew himself, and he couldn't stare for long. Too easily he could see the pain in his eyes, the emptiness he felt within himself. Outside his door he could hear the laughter of Drax and Mantis as they talked, and Rocket's yelling as he cursed them.

He had hoped going on this journey would help him find himself, but he felt more lost than ever. He had no home, his people were thousands of lightyears away, and he and Quill still had yet to establish their pecking order. Could these people really become family to him?

What was he doing here? What was he thinking leaving New Asgard? Leaving the Avengers?

He stared at himself again. They wouldn't even trust him with the gauntlet. He wasn't an Avenger. He was nobody.

Suddenly, a green flash lit up his room, blinding him, and he covered his eyes with a yell, calling his axe to him in an instant. It wasn't until the sound of his own yell died away, that he heard another, familiar yell filling his ears.

Surely, it couldn't be. He must have finally gone crazy.

There, right before him in the middle of the floor, Loki lay sprawled out on his back, smoke curling off of his clothes as he beat at them with his hands. Thor watched in disbelief as his brother pushed himself up off the ground and straightened his leather armor. "That's going to take forever to get out…" he heard him mutter, as he tried to rub the soot off his clothes and checked a hole in his cape by putting a finger through it.

Thor's voice was caught firm by the lump in his throat, and his eyes were brimmed with heavy tears. "L… Loki?" he choked out.

Loki looked up from his self-preening, and locked eyes with Thor. "Hello, brother…"


End file.
